i am so cool...

changingcolors @ 2004-12-31T22:41:00

2005-01-01T04:43:39Z

'appy new year, loves. -said in her best british accent- make this year a good one, eh? i'm going to try. i won't make resolutions, since i'll only be disappointed when i cannot hold out on them. but, i'll still try to make changes this year. in my life, in the life of others, in my state, my country, my world. i want to make a difference. i live to make a difference. so, even though it's early, here's to the new year. may things be different, and most certainly better, than years gone past. may the worlds of the people i hold dear turn a little more slowly, so they can savor the time they have, and learn not to waste a minute. may mine do the same. may we all find love in the right places, and not take it for granted. may peace be spread worldwide, and let us all revel in it. -raises her glass- here's a toast to a better world for all.

(this will officially be my last post here. so add Add ADD my other journal. PLEASE?! -puppy dog pout-)

revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__revolutionary__

look at me WHORE! hehe. i'm acting like james did last year. -scoffs in disgust-

changingcolors @ 2004-12-30T23:45:00

2004-12-31T05:46:29Z

i've had this journal such a long time. i've had it through so many different turning points in my life. i've written about each and every one in here. my journal has never let me down. but, i believe, there always comes a time when you should start new. old memories sometimes hurt, and there are so many attached to this journal. as much as i don't want to leave it all behind, i know i must. i know there are other people who get a new journal at the end of the year, so i figure now would be a good time to start, you know? new year, new beginning. here's to it, folks.

revolutionary__
revolutionary__
revolutionary__
revolutionary__
revolutionary__
revolutionary__
revolutionary__
revolutionary__
revolutionary__
revolutionary__
revolutionary__

add it now, bitches. :D

peak oil, kids. it's a pressing issue..

2004-12-30T06:41:24Z

then, if that intrigues you, and you'd like to learn more, of course there's the powerswitch site, and there is also...

join powerswitch

changingcolors @ 2004-12-29T16:03:00

2004-12-29T22:05:37Z

my doctor put me on some dietary pills. hopefully, they'll help with the weight issue.

mom says they are going to give me more energy and speed up my metabolism.

she also said they are like a form of speed. i'm so jittery right now.

i played DDR today for the first time in MONTHS! i still rock. -dusts her shoulders off-

i think i'm going to go buy a new video game now.

<3333

changingcolors @ 2004-12-28T22:37:00

2004-12-29T04:39:02Z

guess who is the owner of a new, shiny, lovely, awesome, flame/red GBA?

IT'S ME! w00t.

recommend awesome games. i bought a spyro game today. -snortgiggle- i adore spyro.

pssst..that penguin guy icon-thinger is too hilariously cute. :D

here's a wonderfully long post for y'all.

2004-12-26T21:10:21Z

so, i just got finished watching harry potter and the chamber of secrets. will never not love that movie. hehe. or any of them for that matter. now, has anyone else ever noticed the total sexual tension between harry and tom riddle? sheeeeeesh. i don't know how i missed that before. it's totally there, kids. i swear it is. and of course, there's the totally hot tension between snape and harry, as always. -drools and sweats- oh man. and then the whole thing at the end, when hermione comes back, and ron just looks at her, then she hugs harry and shakes ron's hand. hahaha. so a sign that they have to HOOK UP! they love each other, and they know it. plus, harry is simply off limits for her. he's snape's play toy. ;)

-fans herself- moving on...

a long skirt
a strappy brown, sparkly shirt
a long sleeve, button up tan colored shirt with brown flowers
a happy bunny shirt (happy bunny dressed as a pimp, and he says "yo. you suck all up in here.")
a purple, long sleeve john deere shirt
pink, black, and white posts, hoops, and long earrings
ankh earrings
long dangly silver earrings
a black and white checkered headband
a new purse
adrenaline by adidas (perfume)
sunflower by elizabeth arden (perfume)
a bath set
The Colossus by Sylvia Plath
Moulin Rouge
Requiem for a Dream
Samurai Jack Season One
a new flat iron
a Jeff Gordon figurine
a NASCAR hot chocolate set (imagine that. :P)

i think that's it. and on top of all that, i still made out with around 70 dollars. :D it was a great christmas, overall. i hope everyone had a wonderful -insert holiday you celebrate here-.

so, now comes the new year. with it, i hope i can start over and do more right. we'll see how this one goes.

i've got a new habit of making my knees pop. it's weird, it sounds gross, and it hurts but feels good at the same time. O.o it scares me. hehe.

and a few random pictures..

i seem to love this hand-over-the-open-mouth pose. :P

i'm a fucking gangster, yo.

changingcolors @ 2004-12-24T21:54:00

2004-12-25T04:53:51Z

Merry Christmas, lovelies. may all your sweetest wishes come true.

changingcolors @ 2004-12-23T19:46:00

2004-12-24T01:47:47Z

Post a comment and I'll reply with my fondest memory of you but you gotta post this in your journal so other people can do the same. And if I've never met you in person before (or if I can't reconcile you as a person with you as an LJ), I'll make up something really cool.

changingcolors @ 2004-12-22T19:47:00

2004-12-23T03:48:13Z

What Will changingcolors Get ?

Xmas pressie predictor
Big wooly jumper knitted by	zigzagyourtorso
Pair of Socks from	swore
Bottle of Whiskey from	bellaitaliana77
Cd from	cutmeintostars
Something Cuddly from	moonwingseg13
Something Intoxicating from	themann1086
Something Silly from	alcarilinque
Something Funny from	inmagrill
Lump of coal from	sappho_cried
Something Pretty from	al_coholic
Something Shiny from	endmyliberation
Something Naughty from	enygmaeve
Something Smelly from	skycrawler
Something Breakable from	kalixis
Something Useful from	pinky_jessi
Something not useful from	lulufallsdown
The Black and Decker Tool Kit from	gilly_damnit
Livejournal account from	rahien
The Make-up Bag from	kalypsodream
Stack of DVDs from	kynon
Something Geeky from	bellascritto

i want my gifts. damnit.

changingcolors @ 2004-12-22T16:03:00

2004-12-22T22:04:59Z

quick update: i forgot to mention that i saw a doctor yesterday. ma was tired of me saying i'm tired all the time, and wanted it checked out. the doctor took some blood. he's going to have it tested for thyroid problems, or possible anemia. :/ results tomorrow. we'll see what happens.

changingcolors @ 2004-12-22T13:36:00

2004-12-22T19:59:35Z

i read, just this morning, of yesterday's attack in Mosul. some kind of an attack on a mess tent. they aren't really sure of whether it was an insurgent missile attack, or if it was a suicide bomber's attempt.. regardless of that, i have a friend there. 276th Batallion was in there. my friend is in the 276th. i'm not sure if he was in the tent at the time, but it still scared me to tears. thankfully, i recieved an email from him saying that he's physically okay, but he's not allowed to say much more than that. i'm glad he's okay.

but..think of all the others. God, it's ridiculous.

"Defense officials said 15 of those killed in the attack on a mess tent at the city's airport were American soldiers -- more U.S. troops than have been lost in nearly any other major incident in the fighting, even during the spring 2003 invasion." (news story)

15 soldiers killed, i don't know how many others, and more than 80 wounded. seriously..-shakes her head-

workers and U.S. soldiers tending to the wounded.

"Scores of troops crammed into concrete bomb shelters outside. Others wobbled around the tent and collapsed, dazed by the blast.

"I can't hear! I can't hear!" one female soldier cried as a friend hugged her.

Near the front entrance to the chow hall, troops tended a soldier with a gaping head wound. Within minutes, they zipped him into a black body bag. Three more bodies were in the parking lot." (full story)

hey Dubya. are you listening? you need to be. how many more is it going to take? is this your Christmas gift to the families? a father, a mother, a son, a daughter, a niece, a nephew, a husband, or a wife..whatever they may be..is their death your Christmas present to the familes and friends of the soldiers? you need to learn how to lead this nation a little better. get your head out of your ass, take a deep breath, and get your shit under control.

on a lighter note, it's snowing. -half smile-

i'm dreaming of a white Christmas, just like the ones i used to know..

i was informed by S that i must take this..

2004-12-17T18:40:43Z

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
Jillian
Jilly
Jill

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
it ends tomorrow
pasion morbosa
flowerpower22

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
i can sing well.
i'm intelligent.
i'm spiritual.

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
i don't like my body.
i tend to be quite stubborn.
i am very lazy.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
irish, yo. (yay S!)
german
cherokee indian

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
being alone
relationships
darkness

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
muuuuuuuuusic
triple goddess necklace
perfume

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
grey and red pinstripe pants
a cream colored sweater
a bra

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS:
the beatles
travis
pavement

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
i want to TRY to get some ass. :P
i want to TRY to be less fearing.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
communication
HONESTY
an attraction

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
i love chocolate.
i hate females.
i like sex.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
eyes
boobs
legs

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
go without chocolate
not fall for women
do all my schoolwork

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
go to sleep
call into work
talk to lauren

THREE KIDS' NAMES:
Ceres
Dorcas
Josiah

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
travel the world
put together a book of poems
raise a family

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW OR DIE PAINFULLY IF THEY DON'T FEEL LIKE IT
brandy
gilly
teague

changingcolors @ 2004-12-14T21:05:00

2004-12-15T03:25:59Z

what...what is this?! dare i say...it's an update? oh, shock. :o

yea, anyways. i decided it's time for an update. i don't do this hardly enough. alas, my life is not interesting. i go to school, i work, i do choir activities. that's about it.

saturday, there's going to be a christmas party at my house with my dad's side of the family. yay. :) i'm excited for that. hell, i'm excited for christmas in general. a christmas spent with family is a wonderful one, indeed.

the progression towards all-state tryouts has officially started. last night was all-state intro party, which was lots of fun, let me tell you. we got to eat and sing and do a fun game and get our practice cd's. the music is quite difficult, but i will learn it. fo' sheezy.

umm..i cut a gash in my stomach, somehow, in the past thirty minutes..and it won't stop bleeding. :/ not good, i say.

UGH! i hate hearing songs i love on the radio, but not being able to download them, yet. oh well.

i really don't have much more of importance to say. i think i'm just going to head off to bed.

ohhhh. wait. to people i've promised cards to, they might be late. more than likely, the will be late. my apologies, though. my schedule never really allows me much time for things. :/

<33333.

changingcolors @ 2004-12-01T22:06:00

2004-12-02T04:08:21Z

i'm having a bad time. a bad, bad time. -sigh-

life : 2
jillian : 0

i miss my grandma today. i miss her everyday, but today it's a lot more. i wish i could just jump in the car and go see her. but i can't. because she's not there. :( i know next time i go to helena, i'm going to go to the cemetary. i feel the need to talk to her a little bit. i know i can talk to her whenever i want, but being there makes it somewhat closer to being real.

am i simply insane?

changingcolors @ 2004-11-24T22:07:00

2004-11-25T04:31:51Z

"it's getting hard to be someone but it all works out.."

it all works out when? someone tell me that. it's becoming harder everyday for me to be the person i want to be. i want to have my whole life figured out, but i don't. will i ever? who knows.

everything is poopy.

life: 1
jillian: 0

i'm so tired. i'm going to go spend some time with my babies, then go to bed. everyone have a great turkey day. i will. family time is always something i look forward to.

-------

"a catch in my throat choke torn into pieces i won't no i don't want to be this but i won't let this build up inside of me.."

-------

chaos - it’s just the beginning
every promise i made i'm rescinding
centre mass in the middle of the monster
i'm getting tired of drowning the constant

cry for help – it’s debatable
the only reason that you love me is i'm hated by all
come on - come see dysfunction
i guess we're gonna leave it open for discussion

who am i?
and where am i going?

maybe i'm looking in the wrong direction
maybe i'm looking for any direction

this is not my war
this is not my fight
this is something more
this is not my life
(this is not my) revolution
(this is not my) convolution
(this is not my) expectation
(this is not my) desperation

yeah
holed up, scarred and tamed for the hell of it
look at me - i am the glorified malcontent
save me save this
all i gotta do is give up and all is forgiven

i’m sick – of being the butt of the cosmic joke
and i don't get the punch line
a million people lined up for miles
to see the great big mouth shut up and apologize

this is not my war
this is not my fight
this is something more
this is not my life
(this is not my) revolution
(this is not my) convolution
(this is not my) only reason to question why

today i said goodbye
goodbye
oh i didn't need to leave to stay right here
today i'll said goodbye
goodbye
oh i didn't need to leave to stay right here
today i'll said goodbye
goodbye
oh i didn't need to leave to stay right here
today i'll said goodbye
goodbye
oh i didn't need to leave to stay right here
today i'll said goodbye

yeah

i'm the pariah (break me)
i am the liar (save me)
i can take anything (make me)
accuse me of everything (take me)

cut off the system (shape me)
deny my existence (waste me)
i won't be afraid (try me)
i won't be unmade (deny me)

so come on - break it off
come on - buy the lie
come on - say it, say it
come on
say goodbye

goodbye
oh i didn't need to leave to stay right here
today i'll said goodbye
goodbye
oh i didn't need to leave to stay right here
today i'll said goodbye
Goodbye
oh i didn't need to leave to stay right here
today i'll said goodbye
goodbye
oh i didn't need to leave to stay right here
today i'll said goodbye

changingcolors @ 2004-11-19T07:30:00

2004-11-19T13:31:18Z

What kind of Naruto Ninja are you? by Alex_kun
Name
Where You Are From:	Sound Country - Sound Village
Which Animal You Can Summon:	You can't summon a damn thing!
Current Shinobi Status:	Chuunin (Middle Level)
Your costume colors consist of:	See-Through
and:	Nothing

Quiz created with MemeGen!

i'm naked! hahahaha.

changingcolors @ 2004-11-18T22:48:00

2004-11-19T04:57:51Z

people want updates, so i'm updating. yes, i'm a slacker, but not by choice. :P actually, i'm just busy. gah, work. but, they hired 7 new people, so hopefully i can work less now. -hopes-

i'm so excited for saturday. we have all-region clinic and a huge concert on saturday night. -squeals- it's going to be so fun. i'm way way way excited. lol. i've got a really cute new skirt and shirt for the concert. and i get my very first all-region t-shirt. YAY! i'm really excited about that. it's going to have my name on it and..SQUEEE! hehe. it's going to be awesome.

i need to dye my hair again. i'm trying to make a decision on what color i want to dye it. i'm thinking auburn again..or dark brown..or maybe a chestnut color, which i guess would be a darker auburn. i want to save up money and dye my hair dark and then get red and caramel highlights or something. that'd be hot.

i need to start figuring out things i want for christmas. -nods- and i need to get addy's for people who want christmas cards again this year. i have some addresses..somewhere. but, i really need people to send them again. heh. it'll be easiest for me that way. you can send addresses to lollipop.whore@gmail.com. wheeeeee.

i'm going now.

"i don't want to be anything other than what i've been trying to be lately.."

changingcolors @ 2004-11-13T18:23:00

2004-11-14T00:34:06Z

i feel like poop. yes, poop. it sucks. i'm sick with something. i've been laying around sleeping pretty much all day. and working on my english project due wednesday when i am up. i can barely eat without it coming back up. i have this nasty, horrible cough and it hurts so bad. my throat feels raw as hell. i need to get over this bullshit. next weekend, i have all region clinic to go to. can't be sick for that.

seeing as i'm running a fever and have been throwing up, i called into work tonight. well, when i called in and told them i was sick, i got wrote up for it. the bitch said "well, you know today is saturday, and we're sooo busy. we usually require a doctor's note for missing a saturday." i was like "well, i can't go to the doctor. we don't have medical insurance." and then she pulled some shit about how i should have called with three hours notice instead of two. i was like "i haven't even been UP for two hours." and she was like "well, i've still got to write you up for it." i just told her whatever, and that i still thought it was stupid. i fucking hate mcdonald's. i'm going to try to get a job at dollar tree. they start out at $6. hopefully they will hire me.

i guess i'll quit my bitchin' for now.

<33333

changingcolors @ 2004-11-07T22:03:00

2004-11-08T04:05:07Z

things are confusing as of late. i thought i had shit figured out mostly, but i know i don't now. -bangs her head on the desk- i'm going to leave it at that for now. mainly because i really don't know what else to say. -sigh-

on a better note, i bought the Travis CD i wanted finally and i bought a very nice tshirt. it's got Joe Strummer on it, and a quote on the back.

"One day truth and justice will reign." -Joe Strummer

changingcolors @ 2004-11-02T07:10:00

2004-11-02T13:11:17Z

happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear jilly, happy birthday to me. :D hehe. -bounces around-

changingcolors @ 2004-10-30T23:35:00

2004-10-31T04:39:56Z

-squeals- today was all region tryouts. they took 40 from bass II, bass I, tenor I, tenor II, alto II, and soprano I. they took 80 or so from alto I and soprano II. guess who got 16th chair in her voice part? you fucking got it. I DID! i freaked out. lol. i'm so fucking proud of myself. and what's even more awesome is the fact that chairs 1-16 of alto II get to try out for ALL STATE CHOIR! EEEEEEEEEEE! -dances around and jumps and squeals- i am so happy. i'm still on this little high from it. :D

after being at all region ALL DAY LONG, i came home, but on my halloween costume (which came out a-fucking-mazing.) and went to eat. we celebrated. lol. then i went to brandy's, and we went out. we went to burger king and saw misty and amanda. we chilled there talking for a while, then went to wally world, where brandy bought me a very cool pair of knee socks and leg warmers. :D yay. (lovelove)

that's really it. i'm just so fucking happy i made all region mixed choir. la la la!

changingcolors @ 2004-10-29T22:02:00

2004-10-30T03:11:06Z

update..update..i suppose one is due.

well, not much has been going on. work and practice for all region choir tryouts, which are tomorrow. eeeeeeeee. so nervous. i hope i do well. wish me luck. -crosses fingers-

been seeing quite a bit of brandy lately, and it's been great. :D hehe.

i'm in such a good mood right now. :D :D :D :D -happy sigh-

tomorrow..brandy and i are going out..somewhere. not exactly sure yet. (brandy, i was kind of thinking coffee shop, if we have nowhere else to go..we can just go chill there for a while. go run around walmart in costume or something if you want to. just go riding around and stuff. tell me your thoughts, baby. need to know. :P) we're going to dress up and have lots of fun, i tell you. LOTS OF FUN! :D

tuesday is my birthday. AIEEE!! and i have no clue what i want. people are pestering me..and i don't know. lol. anyone have any suggestions on what i should get? haha.

and on that note..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEVY! I LOVE YOU! hehe. :D

i'm done now, i guess. yep. :D oh my goodness. :P -skips away-

changingcolors @ 2004-10-26T21:37:00

2004-10-27T02:38:50Z

i'll spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly
i'll do what it takes 'til i touch the sky
i'll make a wish
take a chance
make a change
and break away
out of the darkness and into the sun
i won't forget all the one's that i love
i gotta make a wish
take a chance
make a change
and break away

changingcolors @ 2004-10-26T07:14:00

2004-10-26T12:16:02Z

Possessing a rare combination of wisdom and humility, while serenely dominating your environment you selflessly use your powers to care for others.

Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.

changingcolors @ 2004-10-24T03:18:00

2004-10-24T08:22:27Z

so, it's 3:18am and i'm just getting home from work. -yawn- i had to close. that's hell, i tell you.

there's really no reason for my to update right now. i just thought i hadn't updated in a good bit, and that i should. i was thinking about it, so i did it now.

tonight's a really beautiful night to me for some reason. the moon seems abnormally close, and it's foggy...but the sky is so clear. and the stars..oh, the stars..goddess, they are beautiful. -yawns again-

i'm so fucking tired. guess i ought to go to bed.

<3333,
jilly.

ps. chocolate covered coffee beans are awesome. hehe.